‘There’s Fear in the Air’ Series
Simple, Effective Therapies for Fear
Breathe – Do you know that when someone is under stress, that the first thing they forget to do is breathe? Breathing is therapy in itself. Supplying the innermost cells with the proper ratio of oxygen is promoting health at the basic level.
Coping skills – She said that she had no idea how to develop social skills, or work skills either for that matter. There is no truth in the old adage “You cannot teach an old dog new tricks.” That is only true if the old dog is actively dying. At that point, there is no need. Support is all that is needed.
“Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson, 1803-1882
Private counselling – It is threatening for some to voice their feelings and situations in a group. Certainly, if you are having marital discord, a private session is mandatory, without your spouse at first. Gradually, when issues heal, the counselling can include marital counselling. We heal at the basic level first and if there is ongoing stress and trauma currently, it is safer and more effective to meet with a professional individually.
Allow yourself growing time – Be kind to yourself. It will take time to work through the sensitive issues that you face. Everyone has unconquerable issues at one time in their life. The more breakthroughs a person has, the more steps they take, the tiniest successes they have – all build on each other. Let the process be a process.
Get information – Do not ignore any problems you have. Work them through. Small issues and big issues need to be addressed. Learn as much as you can about healing, about any illnesses you may have, and keep on learning.
Get a better understanding of how to communicate. Communication is one of the root problems in all discord and problems. It takes skill and self-control for someone to subject themselves to being misunderstood. But it takes them genuine courage to allow themselves to be understood, to be able to communicate their real thoughts successfully and feel safe doing it.
Support groups may help. Make sure that you do not depend on them. One lady remarked, “I do not know how we will survive without (named) being here, she is our rock and strength.” No one can be in that position. We all have our faults and weaknesses. Why else would we come to a therapy group?
Any goals an individual makes need to be owned by that person. No one can make up a goal for them. No one can reach that goal except the one who makes it either. Make goals slowly and short so the successes will accumulate faster. A person needs to avoid saying that they will never argue or fight again. Make that a shorter goal. “I will not argue for the next 5 minutes.” Simple goals that are met are the most successful goals. “Right now, I will turn the bitter thought I just had into being grateful for…”
Know that we all have common issues. Everyone you meet will have some issue they are facing in their life. When you are kind to yourself, it will be easier for you to be kind to the next person. We all need kindness and understanding and support. You do not know what that other person is going through.
Work – Do something. When someone gives in to being paralyzed from fear, when they give up on a cause, something inside a person goes dormant. It is never dead. Never. There is always something that will spark hope again. Always. Look for it. A person needs to keep busy doing something they love for sure, but at least keep busy at something. If a person does that they will never have to look back and say that that time was wasted.
Look inward for a short time to assess your problems, plan your strategy and evaluate your progress. Do not prolong this step, but do not skip it either. Go deep for a short period just to get a different perspective.
*Note: ‘There’s Fear in the Air’ Series was first planned in September 2019. It has prepared me for facing the COVID19 crisis. I hope it will help you, too.
