‘There’s Fear in the Air’ Series

Overcoming Fears

Riding up the chairlift, I felt the familiar old panic starting. I was holding my breath, not sure whether I was pale or not, but I did know I was holding on with everything I could. I was surprised I did not insist my husband tie me in. I really was afraid I was going to propel off into the snow below. The higher I got, the less I could breathe. By the time I got off the lift, I was shaking. And now they want me to go down this thing. Right! Wrong. I limped down the hill, taking very short turns so I would not have to go fast. And to top it off – I was on the bunny hill! How humiliating.

I love the snow. Why couldn’t this be fun? As a nurse I had taken psychology and was pretty good in that field. I had just been through counselling and had worked through some very heavy issues from my childhood. But the harder I worked at my issues, the worse my fear became. A person can become triggered by their fears of a past incidence into a current one. I scrambled to find what the trigger point was on this one. I could not find it.

I made myself continue skiing, my husband and kids were noticing my fears and making jokes about it. My mischievous son would try rocking the chair lift.

Then rocket science hit – I was not afraid of ANYTHING. I was afraid of FEAR itself. I was afraid that I would be afraid. WOW!

It took a few times, but after talking myself down, the fear disappeared into a mild healthy fear. I was not incapacitated with the fear and actually enjoyed riding up to the top of the mountain! Skiing down the big mountain was nice now! My skills at skiing improved!

Incidents that we go through everyday can trigger an incident in the past. I had a black dog bite me when I was about 10 years old, and to this day, I really have a hard time around black dog. I will not have one. I was not too keen about any dogs. But the white guard dog we had for our sheep needed a master – and I was it. So, I studied and became his trainer. I added the element of urgency and necessity of a task that needed to be done and I was the only one that was able to do it. In the end of his life, my dog made sure that I knew he was not going to be around anymore, and he died on my front lawn. My dog and I would “talk” to each other, and I very much miss that. He was good at communicating to the kids too.

Steps to Resolve Fears

Steps to remember when you are being afraid problems or panic attacks:

1. Be easy on yourself. There is a reason you have this fear. Respect that fear.
2. The emotion you have is real and it is healthy. It is there to protect you.
3. Be honest, do not be tempted to deny what you are feeling. I have never been able to tell myself that I really was not afraid and have that make me not afraid.
4. Forget what others think if they happen to see it. But do not lash out at them because they do not understand. They are not the ones who are feeling your emotion. They have their own issues.
5. Relax and enjoy the process. Know that in the end you will have freedom.
6. Reach out for help if you cannot work through this alone. Many times, resolving fear issues need support.
7. Know that you can work through it. You will never be able to forget that initial trauma. I am not sure that would be a good idea anyway.
8. Be gentle on those who are not able to work through their trauma and related fears.
9. Not everyone who has mental issues has had trauma that caused it. Do not judge.
10. Just because I can work through some of my issues, does not mean I will be able to work through the next one.
11. Life is meant to be enjoyed, enjoy it with another.

*Note: This was part of a series started September 3, 2019. I did not know I was preparing myself for a future fear.