‘There’s Fear in the Air’ Series

She could not even remember or name her worst fear in her past. She had a lot of work on herself to do because she was paralyzed in the present because her past would not let her go. I did not even need to know all her horrible past to want to see her free. She had a small son and I wanted him to live in freedom. His freedom would become in jeopardy because she lived in her past.

We all live in the past

Memories, or lack of them is an all too familiar feeling. There is nothing wrong with good or bad memories. The only thing holding us back is what we learned from them. Most people who live in the past have many regrets. So, does the solution lie in ridding the regrets; in forgiving; in erasing the past? Here are some reasons we live in the past:

• Things get confused because events that happened in the past is happening in the present.
• Brainwashing erased all our creative solutions thinking.
• We feel trapped in the present.
• Processing the events are too painful.
• There is no memory of the event.
• The past is buried under a mound of resentment.
• We want no reason to deal with a painful past.

Sometimes Our Past Has Pleasant Memories

Our past is our past, we can not change that. We can let our past change us for good or for bad. We can accept or reject our past. It is completely our choice about our past and how it affects us. Some pleasant memories because of:

• A family vacation
• Having a mom and dad who taught you to fight fair because they did
• A parent who changed from a poor parent to a good one
• Grandparents who were involved and honest with you
• You changed the way you think
• A sister or brother you bonded with
• Someone outside the family gave you positive input
• A friend or family member you could confide in
• You had a very good, secure and happy childhood

Things You Cannot Do With Your Past

You can never forget them. You are not in control of their life. The only thing you are in control of is how much you let them influence your life. My friend had the worst ever experience a young girl could have. But she deliberately told herself the truth. That this was the doing of the other person, it is not what I want done or anything I would do myself. She refused to take responsibility for the other person or persons actions. She knew that nothing was “making” the other individual do this, it was a decision that was decided only by that person. Someone can set others up for a certain way of thinking, but the only thing no one can take away from a victim is the thoughts that individual decides to think.

Liberating Concepts

There is much controversy surrounding what Benjamin Franklin was talking about in this next quote. He was referring to the stalling of obtaining funds to fight the French and Indian war.* In the context of controlling our thoughts, sometimes we sacrifice our control of our thoughts for what we think is a safe place for our lives, and most of the time, it is not safe.

“Those who would give up essential liberty, to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.”

Benjamin Franklin, 1755

We can not control what parents we have. We can not control the siblings we get. We can not change their actions, good or bad that affected us. So stop trying.

• If you learned to sabotage, you can learn to be successful.
• When you want something bad enough, you will try for it.
• Accept failure, failure means you are trying to do something.
• Hold a friend who encourages you in high regard.
• Know that you can do whatever is in your control. Control you, not others.
• Live to give to others, not take from them.
• Learn to work hard and mind your own business well.
• Look in yourself deeply, but not continually.
• Find a mentor, meet daily. A mentor can be a computer program.
• Know that no one can do your thinking for you.
• Learn solid, foundational ways to communicate.
• Learn a successful way to live, take a course on it.

Any life you choose to live will be filled with regrets or happiness. Every life that has purpose will have it’s blemishes.

*Source: https://www.lawfareblog.com/what-ben-franklin-really-said

*Note: The series, There’s Fear in the Air, was started in September, 2019, and prepared me for the current COVID19 crisis we are in now.