‘There’s Fear in the Air’ Series

Chris’ Story

“I consider her my best friend.” He told me that he had an older lady who would let him talk to her about everything when he was a teen. “I give her the credit for me not being a mental wreck”, he stated. “I knew she was listening, but she said little to me”, he continued. “Sometimes, when I would surprise her with a problem, I had that was handled wrong, she would all of a sudden come up verbally swinging in defense of me. I lost my mom as a teen, and my dad just disappeared for a while. I was old enough to care for myself, but I really needed Alisha at that time. Sometimes we would not talk. We would sit quietly or play a card game. She would always bake me something good and nutritious to eat. She was close in age to my mom, even though they never met each other, and that was healing. I met her by accident a long time ago, and never have regretted knowing her. Alisha never became a ‘somebody’, no one hardly gave her a glance. But she was always grateful, always glad to see me. Sometimes I would do my homework at her home. She never did have kids, that I knew of, but in my opinion, she would have made the best mom. You know, she never gave me advice, now that I think about it. She just let me talk, and I would soon see the solution to my problem.”

Effective Talking

We all have the ability, if we cultivate it carefully, to figure out our problems if we are given the right information. God put that resource in us, and it is the responsibility of whoever raises us to carefully let us become aware of that ability and to fine tune it so we can use it when we need it. We do not have to follow peer pressure, or society norms. We have the innate ability to be true to ourselves, to God.

There’s no reason to blame. When we solve our own problems, after making sure we have all the true information we need, it prevents us from blaming others. There is no reason to blame others, when we know it is our responsibility to make the right decisions. Now, if we do not have all the information we need, due to lack of experience, or not getting good advice, we can be tempted to blame others out of our own insecurity. Maybe we became angry and refused to think right.

Think in a positive tone and context. It is so easy to vent, and there is a place for that. But venting is negative. It draws another person down and encourages them to vent.

Find something about the situation that is funny. When a person relaxes enough to laugh – at the timing, at the person’s reaction, at anything, it changes the dynamics of the situation. Relaxing opens up the mind’s ability to solve problems. The solutions come easier.

Talk to yourself like you would talk to someone else who you want to encourage. Mostly, self-talk tends to be negative. It does not edify.

Keep in tune with your feelings. It affects how you listen, what you say and how the conversation generally goes.

Listen. Listen. Listen more than you talk. When someone is trying to sort through the situation, they do not need advice or lectures, or talk.

*Note: This ‘There’s Fear in the Air’ Series began September 3, 2019, before the recent crisis of the Corona Virus. My thoughts were prepared prior to the crisis that some bad times were coming, and this series helped me prepare for this current crisis. I hope it will help you.