My Daughter and Her High Functioning Asperger Son

As obvious as my son’s Asperger’s Syndrome signs, it was difficult for me to identify my daughters symptoms until she had her son. Many women can hide the symptoms. In her case it made my daughter the most charming soul ever on earth. The biggest symptom she shows is a lack of confidence which I thought at first was significant of her upbringing and physical problems. But she became the most beautiful all-Norwegian child and mother ever. Her artistic bent has always been evident. She is simply amazing.

At Birth He Was Considered High Risk

When I saw the 5 NICU nurses standing at the doorway ready for the emergency they expected, I started praying. I remember my daughter saying that they had all but demanded that she end her pregnancy for fear of her life, and for fear that the infant would not survive. They really did not have any evidence on hand that I saw. She had symptoms of a pulmonary embolus when she was pregnant but one doctor told her that the team had over-reacted and there was no evidence of it.

The relieving sighs, the relaxed laughs and smiles as the baby boy sounded off his lungs so the whole world could hear, made my heart rejoice and I praised the God who created this little perfect infant. He definitely had no problem surviving and they kept him in the nursery for testing. They found he had a significant heart murmur, and, well, we would wait and see. I had not seen such a happy mama and baby!

He Has Every Symptom of Asperger’s Syndrome

As he grew, it was very evident he had most if not all of the symptoms of Asperger’s Syndrome. My daughter was not in the denial I had been in (for lack of support and information), but now, the world has awakened to the presence of autism and its spectrum.

Voice – The most obvious sign he had was his voice, it is the cutest ever, even now at 8 years old. They call it a robotic sound.

Speech – Because his speech was not fluent and clear, he had speech therapy which made all the difference in the world. He became frustrated that people could not understand him, everyone except his sister that is.

Narrow bonding ability – He has a very strong bond to his mother, but an equal bond to his sister. But it sometimes is like no one else exists. I am so happy that he responds normal to me, but he will not respond to me as an authority in his life. I am careful now to not cross any boundaries that are preset in his life until he opens up and accepts them.

Literal – He will misunderstand or take what is said to the literal extreme. He will take teasing seriously and really believes what people say is true.

Learning Disabilities – He is learning to focus on others because of the teaching of his mother. It takes much time to teach him. But she has taught him to read, to speak, gives him freedom to follow his own routine that she helped him build. He is not independent in school studies yet, but his sister is very devoted to helping him, and she does a great job!

Flat emotions or acting uncaring – I can tell that he has many emotions, but most of the time he will act like he does not care or he does not understand. He will appropriately ignore other peoples directions when it conflicts with what he understands is true. That is one thing my daughter worked on with him and it saves him from being taken advantage of, at the same time gives him the opportunity to learn how to interact socially.

No tolerance for change – My daughter has told me that at times that any changes in their routine throws both of them off into an overwhelmed state.

Great memory for facts – My grandson is great at remembering everything that his mom says, and any facts he learns.

Uncoordinated in fine motor skills – Even though he can not write easily, he is terrific at sports and is very athletic.

Obsessed with projects – He tends to be obsessed with computers and how they work. He can be very addicted to games online and working the internet. It seems they talk the same language.

Melt downs – He knows he is different and that bothers him, producing the typical melt-downs. He has the light sensitivity and prefers to sit alone in a dimly lit room when he needs to.

Interesting Trivia

I have appreciated the character and personalities of Asperger children and adults. Some interesting information I have found:

• Many believe that if the basic cause of Asperger’s can be uncovered through therapy, it will eradicate or resolve or diminish the tendencies.
• It is said that once you have met someone on the Autistic Spectrum, you have met ONE Autistic, Asperger person. No two are alike.
• My grandson, when he is with my son, are inseparable and he will copy my son’s movements, follow him around and repeat what he says.
• It used to bother my son that his nephew wanted to be so close, but once he understood the reason, he welcomed it and enjoys the relationship.
• My son is identifying people ‘on the spectrum’ all the time.

Other Resources

I found most of the symptoms he had were listed in an article on Nationwide Children’s website.* But there are so many groups now that provide information from awareness to symptoms to treatment. There were very few if any when my babies were infants. And I did not have free access to the internet to do research. I am so happy to have much help available for my daughter. I heartily recommend taking advantage of the many resources and many support groups available. Research them all and pick the best!

The resource that was my go-to when I was raising my children was My Asperger’s Child. That was the only one I was aware of. Now I like to visit the support groups and .org websites for information on autism, Asperger’s and related issues.

*Asperger’s Syndrome: Symptoms, Diagnosis and Treatment (nationwidechildrens.org)

Read my corresponding post about Asperger Syndrome signs in my son.

See this update on my grandson. Super good teaching game that my daughter made up.